There’s no denying that most days, when I’m in the company of my boy-children all day long, I feel a certain je ne sais quoi. A mixture of overwhelming tedium combined with the alarming realization that my once reasonable intellectual capability has atrophied to the point that the 3 year old regularly beats me at Uno. (In my defense, I am heavily involved in his card-laying-decisions, but still…….)
It’s an existence that revolves around cleaning the same messes, cooking the same food and refereeing the same arguments again, and again, and…..again. There are days when I have (very) vague recollections of time spent in institutions of higher learning, where I expended thousands of dollars and hours of time. And as a result of that investment I say life-changing things like ‘learning how to ignore people is one of the best things you can learn.’
Actually, it was the professor who unearthed that nugget of wisdom, courtesy of his work in the intellectual version of a coal mine. [His words, not mine.] The most eloquent words that seem to come out of my mouth are: ‘One…two…….three.’
A few months ago the professor had an exhibit at the university with another colleague, featuring their work over the previous year(s). I couldn’t help but think of my current work situation and what kind of ‘exhibit’ it might produce.
I imagined a laundry-strewn gallery with filthy wooden floors and black handprints on the pristine white-painted walls. Decorated with abandoned potty chairs and pieces of white toilet paper, and shirtless (or pantless!) children running around throwing empty Costco boxes at each other. (Yes, really.) Whilst two of them are fighting and crying and the other chanting ‘I’m hungry, what can I eat, I’m hungry, what can I eat?’
But, of course there’s an upside to this domestic life.
I’m not attending eye-stabbingly-boring meetings; stifling yawns whilst pretending to take notes on my laptop, (i.e. checking Facebook.) And no one is hijacking my work time to spend forty five minutes complaining about the boss, the weather, their spouse.
No, today my ‘workday’ consisted of the following:
I had coffee with a friend. For two hours. (And we built a couple of Duplo structures to appease the 3 year old.)
I played 3 or 4 games of Uno. (I won one of the games.)
I took a nap. With my tattooed hockey fan. Napping and I have had a very rocky relationship. I’ve spent many a sleep-deprived hour lying on my bed in the middle of the day, willing my eyes to close and it almost never works. But, snuggled up next to my miniature Penguin whose rhythmic breathing lulled me straight into an hour-long slumber? Magical. (Hopefully the magic will last well past midnight, because I’m guessing a 3 year old sleeping until 4pm does not bode well for an early bedtime.)
And, on an even brighter note, I guess things aren’t as intellectually dire as I thought. I, Nicola Johnson, just managed to (successfully!) set up the wii for the boys.
So what if the 5 year old had to walk me through it.