Zombies and Netflix

On Sunday night, Percy and the Hen were hanging out in the little man’s crib. Not sleeping.
[The Hen]: You’re past one, and I’m past one and Gaga’s past one. You’re almost 3 and I’m almost 5 and Gaga’s almost 8. There are white zombies and grey zombies……….you don’t want to see the pink zombies….you know why? They throw strawberries!
[Percy]: I can’t see!
[The Hen]: Percy, listen!
[The Hen]: Percy, take the dummy [pacifier] out!
[Percy]:  I want to brush my teeth.
[The Hen]: Okay, I’ll brush your teeth…….Oww, you bite my finger!
[Percy]: Brush my teeth!
[The Hen]: No, you’re going to bite my finger.
[Percy]: [Possibly gnawing on the Hen’s finger?] Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow
[The Hen]: Fine, no presents…Listen, if you bite my finger, do you know what will happen? My finger will bleed. So don’t bite my finger. If you bite your own finger, it will bleed too.  Zombies eat poop. Zombies like poop and dirty clothes. They like pee and farts. They eat poop. Is that funny?
[Percy]: Yeah
[The Hen]: Cuz zombies eat the stuff that we poop and pee and fart
[Percy]: I’m brushing my teeth
[The Hen]: I’ll show ya how you brush your teeth. I’ll show you. Percy, watch! And then you spit like this. [Spit sounds] and you wipe it off. And then you do this [Rinsing/swirling sound] And then you do it again. Where’s your dummy?
[Percy]: It’s right here.
[The Hen]: And then you do this. And then you do this. [Mutual laughter]
[Percy]: I have no covers!
[The Hen]: The zombies…the pink one is throwing strawberries at our window. But all our windows are strong. So then the zombies decide to break it.
[Percy]: There’s no zombies in here
[The Hen]: If you throw zombies really hard….
[Percy]: Go your window, go your window….I have no covers…..you sleep in covers?
[The Hen]: You mean zombies? The end.
[Percy]: The end
[The Hen]: I’m scared
[Percy]: There’s no zombies in here

The Hen suddenly climbs out of the crib and finds me in the hallway. Where I’m sitting with a laptop on my lap, eavesdropping. I send him back to his own bed. 

[The Hen yells to where I’m sitting in the hallway]: Mom did you know there’s such a thing as pink zombies?
[Moi]: Where did you hear that?
[The Hen]: It’s just a story I made up
[Moi]: And what happens when they throw strawberries at the windows?
[The Hen]: They break the windows and the grey and white zombies get in
[Percy]: Henners not sleeping with me
[The Hen]: No cuz I was only snuggling in there for a little bit. Mom, why is there Netflix on your computer?
[Moi]: Because Daddy’s watching [some awful] movie [called the Cube]
[The Hen, mumbling to Percy]: I wish mommy would let me watch a movie…..

7 thoughts on “Zombies and Netflix

  1. yes indeed scott, it is the film where the people are “cubed” as it were…. i was hoping it was about how to solve a rubik’s cube…

  2. OK, I just caught myself LOLing to this little dialogue. Bwaahahaa – my finger will bleed too, if bitten by your youngest. Oh, sigh. That was fun.

  3. Yes, the Hen is both funny and wise [and zombie-obsessed]. Unlike The Cube? (I didn’t actually see it, Adrienne, as sci-fi and I don’t get along.)

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