‘What can we do to make Percy feel special on his birthday,’ I asked his older brothers the day before he turned two. ‘We can throw water balloons,’ the Gort chimed in immediately, ‘and custard pies.’

The balloons and pies sounded more like something the Gort would enjoy for his birthday, but I appreciated the sentiment, so I dispatched the professor and his blond wonders to pick up balloons and cans of whipped cream and ‘pie’ plates.

All morning long the Gort would ask: ‘when are we going to do water balloons?’ or ‘can we do water balloons now?’

Despite my having established a schedule of fun. ‘When Percy wakes up from his nap, we’ll have a snack (lunch, if we’re honest) and then we’ll do the water balloons and the custard pies and then we’ll have cupcakes.’

It’s weird how you can answer a child’s question in the most clear and logical manner possible and they’ll still, five minutes later, ask you the same question….again. Maybe ‘weird’ isn’t the right word.

Eventually the star of the show woke up and had a bit of lunch before the festivities began. The professor dutifully divided up the water balloons and released the hounds. The Gort doused the Hen, which resulted in a puddle of tears bigger than the wet spot on his shirt. Percy held a squirmy balloon in his little hands, unsure what to do with it, but shrieking madly the second anyone came near him.

It’s safe to say the only person who enjoyed the fight, was the one who suggested it.

When the balloons were all popped and drained, we moved on to the pie-fighting instalment of the funfest. The professor sprayed whipped cream into a bowl and handed one to each of the boys. Someone threw whipped cream in Percy’s face; he was outraged, furious, crushed. And the Hen reacted in much the same way when it was his turn to be doused with the artificial white substance.

Estimated time elapsed: two minutes.

I brought out the cupcakes and we sang happy birthday to the little lad. Who popped five mini chocolate cupcakes in his mouth, as though it were nothing.

Perhaps next year we’ll have an ‘all you can eat’ cupcake contest, instead.

3 thoughts on “Birthday…


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