There will be peace in the valley

Ode to a Dell

I found it more than ironic that the professor was listening to Elvis singing ‘There will be peace in the valley‘ when he hooked up our new computer

It had been a decidedly un-peaceful year plus of very loud sighs, and ‘seriously!‘s and all manner of computer-directed cursing as our decade-old Dell died a slow death

My morning routine consisted of (1) checking to see if the computer was still ‘alive’ and (2) turning on the kettle for the coffee

‘What is that noise,’ one of the boys would inevitably ask during the day. ‘I think it’s a car,’ the Gort would surmise

No, it’s the (dying) computer in my office

We lived in fear of lost data and a (subsequently) broken marriage, so we bought a new computer

The professor was like a child waiting for Christmas, asking every day…’is it here yet?’ ‘have you heard anything’ ‘when’s our computer getting here’?

Finally I got a note from Dell that the beast had been shipped. I forwarded it to the professor with a note of my own: ‘please don’t ask me anymore….’

People assume we’re Mac people, what with the professor being a starchitect and I documenting the nanoseconds of our lives

But we – the royal we since I don’t much care about technology – are Dell people, as it turns out.

In October 2002, a box was delivered to our beyond-tiny London ‘flat’

More like illegally-subdivided-hovel

The box contained a winter coat (pour moi) and a Dell computer for my better half, who’d enrolled himself in graduate school.

Nine years and three countries later it was still (barely) ticking. How could we not get another?

Last Tuesday, Dell2.0 arrived.

The Purolator guy (I thought they sold bottled water?) dragged it up the steps…in a box so large I feared we’d inadvertently ordered a mainframe.

‘Should be a nice fort for the kids,’ he opined.

Or their father, I thought to myself.

‘There’d better be a blog post about how this has changed your life,’ my better half announced as he made the connections

Followed by ‘here it is, the goodbye’

And he played Boyz II Men’s ‘End of the Road’ over our (formerly) crappy speakers

‘we belong together, and you know that I’m right, why do you play with my head, why do you play with my mind, said we’d be forever, said it’d never die….’

It made me nostalgic for the happy-Dell days.

Maybe we needed closure; a memorial service of sorts? A backyard burial?

The other jason johnson sat at my desk, staring longingly at his shiny, new, 8 gigabyte friend

‘Maybe I’ll just let you use that little black laptop and then I’ll put this one in my office,’ he sighed

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