Mr. Tax-man

Dear Canadian Revenue

It gives me great pleasure to let you know that I stopped at the Paragon Pharmacy/Post Office today….and mailed in my tax return.

I’m American, so I haven’t quite figured out all the ins and outs of this Canadian system. In the U.S., the deadline for filing taxes is April 15. Here, I’m not sure, is it April 30?

Thus by my calculation, today being April 27 and all, I’m a whopping 362 days late in filing my return. Oh, did I forget to mention I mailed in my 2009 tax return?

Oh, well, it was. My return from 2009.

What can I say, I’m normally very responsible about things like tax returns. But I had to file it by mail instead of electronically. And, our printer either didn’t work…or didn’t have a cartridge…or both. And we never have paper on which to print even if we have a functioning printer. And then we went to the States last July and I lost my glasses and I fully intended to mail that return because I really wanted the $50 you owe me. But then winter set in and I was hibernating; eating sticky toffee pudding and buried under dirty laundry.

And then the professor did the 2010 returns and he was all ‘where’s the 2009 return’ and I had to be all ‘I didn’t mail them in.’

Or maybe I said ‘we‘ didn’t mail them in. Because what’s the point of being married if you can’t use the royal we every once in a while? None, if you ask me. That’s precisely the point of being married. The royal we…..and to have someone to take out the garbage and the recycling.

But I digress.

The point is….I have conquered my personal Everest: I have placed the return in an envelope, sealed said envelope, addressed said envelope, paid postage for said envelope and submitted it to the post office. I’m sorry for the [substantial] delay.

But the only one who’s hurting here, is moi. If I’d taken that $50 and invested it, I might have $55 right now. And instead I have $0.

I have learned my lesson and vow to be an upstanding pseudo-resident from here on out. (What can I say the permanent residency application hasn’t been mailed in either…..)

Sincerely yours.

4 thoughts on “Mr. Tax-man

  1. I think you are stalling on the permanent residency application to see if the weather ever improves. Hedging your bets in what I think you are doing.

  2. I love everything about this entry. Especially how the point of being married is the royal we. And how you never have printer cartridges or paper. And, oh yeah, the part about how you’re majorly late on something. Did I mention to you that I have still failed to get our dogs’ their licenses for this year? Or their dog park permits? And that I delayed so long mailing in our registration for our summer CSA that I now have missed the boat completely and we can’t even get a farm share? Yes. I love everything about this entry because WE (another version of the royal we) are two peas in a very dysfunctional but still awesome pod.

  3. Ah Kim, I actually had to beg for a second copy of my T4. Luckily the return was still saved on the computer. Roberta, I think you may be right. If there’s any snow in May, I will not mail that sucker in! Vicky, let’s pretend this is ‘just a phase’……and that we’re ordinarily much more on top of the administrative portion of our lives


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