I’d survived seven full days of being with my children for thirteen hours a day. And I’d managed to do it fairly gracefully, thanks to playdates and outdoor excursions, and sugar. But then, on the eighth day, things went slightly awry.
The same pull-apart bread I’d made just two days earlier, failed. The boys fought. And fought. And fought some more. And a looming winter storm warning threatened to undo me.
I was standing in the kitchen, trying to keep the boys separated, while trying to prepare an April Fool’s Feast; about to go crazy from the claustrophobic insanity of it all, when the words from that Pat Benatar song popped in my head. ‘Life is a battlefield.’
So appropriate, I thought, feeling battered and worn down from extreme Spring-Breaking with three boy-children. And then I searched for the aforementioned song on Youtube and found it is actually called ‘LOVE is a Battlefield.’ Could nothing go my way on this, the eighth day of faux-Spring Break?!
It was also April Fool’s Day. And the Gort was really intent on trying to ‘trick’ his family members. All I can say is he’s got a long way to go in the joke-telling and trick-playing departments. He ‘tricked’ me by hiding a bag of potatoes under the couch cushions. And basically telling me exactly what he’d done.
Quelle surprise! I was blown off my rocker!
He ‘tricked’ the Hen by hiding his toy airplane….under the couch cushions. And telling him about it.
And then it was the professor’s turn to be tricked. Since I was already making cookies for our feast, I suggested we put a weird ingredient in the professor’s cookie. Like a grape tomato. So I formed a ball of dough around half of a tomato and baked it.
Around 6.30, we heard rustling at the door. ‘Don’t tell Daddy what we did,’ I instructed. Clearly. ‘Hi Dad,’ the seven year old yelled, ‘we have a special cookie for you! A really special cookie! There’s something special inside it! There’s a trick inside it! I bet you don’t know what it is!’
And on it went. I couldn’t believe it. Had he not understood the ‘don’t tell Daddy’ bit?
So the professor was understandably leery of the proffered cookie. And the ‘trick’ didn’t exactly play out as intended. Who knew April Fool’s could be so difficult?
Life really IS a battlefield. And Pat Benatar should re-title her song.