The professor went to the grocery store with our oldest yesterday. When they returned, they walked through the front door carrying three Safeway bags. ‘Your son wanted me to buy you a treat that you could share with them,’ the professor told me. I’d seen a glimmer of orange in one of the bags, so I knew instantly what the little man had tricked his dad into buying.

It may seem strange (cough hypocritical cough) that the woman who avoids sugary preservative-filled cereal like the plague, eats Cheetos; willingly consumes ‘cheddar cheese solids’, MSG, and ‘disodium inosinate’. And yet, it’s true. I’ve loved orange-colored cheese puffs all my life and it seems unlikely that I will stop loving them.  Even if the ‘nutrition’ label scares me, and I feel slightly ill after eating them. (The ill-feeling might be due to my inability to eat just one… hundred.) And even if it worries me that my paper-cut-finger BURNED after touching…a Cheeto?!

The three Johnson boys love them as well. So much so that I need to go buy a stain stick to erase the orange stains now covering their clothes. The professor hates the puffy cheesy wonderthings. As much as I hate sugary cereal. He claims the faux cheese smell makes him want to vomit. (Which seems odd given he has fond memories of eating Easy Cheese on Ritz Crackers as a child.) His aversion to the Cheeto-smell means he makes gagging noises and rolls down the window if I eat them in the car. Hence they’re essentially off-limits for roadtrips.

Which is sad, because what could be better than driving 3000 miles to Indiana whilst eating a bag full of Cheetos?

might I say that Cheetos are challenging to photograph?

5 thoughts on “Cheetos

  1. I ate these the other day and actually had this thought: “Is it better to wipe my hands on the couch or my shirt?”

    1. Couch, of course! But I’ve heard from a fellow-addict that one could put the cheetos in a bowl and eat them with a fork….

      1. I think here in Japan it would be more polite to use chopsticks! And wouldn’t it make the experience that much more…. Oh, what is the word I am looking for? Cheesy?


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