Idiot Bandz

There was a time, not so long ago (Wednesday) when I thought rather smugly to myself: I’m so glad my children don’t get sucked in to dumb toy-trends involving rubber bands. Or fur-covered pieces of plastic that pose as hamsters.

And then it was Sunday. And my six year old was lying in bed beside me, sobbing, ‘I’ll never be happy. Ever. Again.’ Because his younger brother had misplaced the three or four ‘silly’ bandz the Gort had received from his classmate’s….mother.

Our oldest blonde wonder had dutifully placed the little bands of rubber in a plastic container, and had carried it with him on and off for a week. And then…bam…it was Sunday morning. And the container’s lid was removed. And there were no silly bands inside.

The only plausible culprit was the Hen. The same person who (later in the day) dumped an ENTIRE bottle of blue mouthwash (750ml) down the drain. Choosing instead to fill the bottle with clear water. Which he proudly carried around the house. Otherwise we might have never known that he purposely jeopardized our oral hygiene.

Thus, it was 8ish on a Sunday morning. And I wanted the crying to stop. And I didn’t even have a voice. So I whisper-croaked the dumbest words known to mankind: ‘we’ll go buy you some more silly bandz later today.’ Which he countered with ‘but you don’t even know where to buy silly bandz.’ Which I countered with, ‘I saw them at Hallmark’ because I actually had seen the things taking up valuable aisle space in the card store. To which he replied ‘when can we go to Wal-Mart.’

Hallmark. Wal-Mart. Whatever.

And with my pathetic attempt at placating a child who insisted he’d never know happiness again, I made my day that much more….complicated.

‘Can we go buy silly bandz at Wal-Mart after church?’ ‘When can we go buy silly bandz?’ ‘Did you think about when we could go buy those silly bandz?’ ‘Are we going to buy silly bandz, now?’ Et.cet.era.

I checked online to see where in Calgary one could buy Silly Bandz. Which led to a lot of links containing the words ‘Justin Bieber’. Maybe before I turn 40 I will find out who this Justin Bieber kid is. But today, I just wanted to know where I could buy some Silly-Bandz.

Hallmark, or Indigo, Google finally told me.

I chose Indigo. It was closer.

The five of us descended upon the bookstore. The professor located the Silly Bandz. There was only one kind: rockstar or rockband. I can’t even remember now. ‘I don’t like these,’ the Gort protested.

It really was a simple dilemma: buy the silly bandz, even though they aren’t your favorite….or don’t buy any silly bandz. At all. He decided subpar silly bandz were better than…no silly bandz.

The professor left with our crying baby-boy-child and I walked towards the check-out with our other boy-children. The line snaked all the way to the back. There were probably twenty or more people waiting in line to purchase stuff at Indigo.

For the love…..

‘I don’t want to wait in line,’ my oldest complained. Another ‘easy’ dilemma: stand in line and get silly bandz, or go to the car and get no silly bandz.

So we stood in line. Luckily one of the employees walked by with a tub of candy for the wait-ers. I think the unwritten rule was ‘one per customer, please’. But I wanted to grab a handful.

Finally, it was our turn. I handed the employee the silly pack of rubber bands. ‘That will be $5.31’ she announced.

Seriously.

8 thoughts on “Idiot Bandz

  1. Oh God how I love you! I too, smugly thought we had avoided these idiotic trends. But just his week, silly bandz arrived in our household courtesy of a party favor. And today? Allowances spent at Target on none other than the dreaded, and ridiculous zhu zhu pets. *sigh* (p.s. older two got the fur covered plastic thingy mabobs, and now what do you think the two year old is whining about? ‘ I wan zoozoo pet!’)

  2. I too don’t understand the rubber band idea with bands that have shapes that a re no longer shapes once they are on the arm! I suppose it’s no different than everyone having to have a hula hoop (even though we couldn’t keep them going) or can can slips!

  3. Don’t you remmeber friendship (jelly) bracelets or the friendship pins with beads on them that we put on our shoes? Oh good times.

    PS the dollar store has knock off silly bands so I’ve heard. I haven’t purchased any silly bands but the kids have about 15 each

  4. I love silly bands. Think they are the coolest thing ever. My only regret is that I didn’t know about them before our big birthday bash – or I’d have given them as favours!!

    Really, whats not to love? (Except the price you paid – yoiks).

  5. We’ve been invaded by the Bandz courtesy of Quizno’s kids meals. 5 year old Ranger has about 4 thousand of them (many duplicates because there are only a dozen designs), yet there is weeping and gnashing of teeth with each broken or lost band.

    I had no idea they cost so much.

  6. Rachel – I could not, for the life of me, remember the name of those zhu zhu pets. Ergo my awesome description. (And I’ve not even heard of pillow pets….oh boy!) Kim, those trends must not have made it to darkest Africa because I don’t remember jelly bracelets or pins for shoes. RD, the Wii candy dispensers were pretty awesome. Adrienne – there is utter sadness whenever one gets broken. That’s how the Gort got the ‘pity-bands’ from his classmate’s mom, because he was so ‘heartbroken’ that his ‘favorite’ silly band had broken. Oh, and in Canada’s (Indigo’s) defense, there were about 25 bandz in the packet which, I think is more than the packs in the States?

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