Weekend Highlights

I don’t want to be the kind of person who fixates on the weather, but I have to say a week – or is it two – of seemingly non-stop bleariness and rain has taken its toll on me.

Frankly, the one thing I’ve liked about living in Calgary is seeing the sun. Often. Take that away, and I feel ready to climb the walls. For some reason I’d convinced myself that the sun would return on Friday. I woke up. Mid-morning, the sun broke through. I yelled ‘who wants to go on an adventure’ to my boy-children. All three of them, because the Gort had no school on Friday.

Seriously, Calgary, are you trying to kill me?

The words had barely left my mouth when…..the sun disappeared and went to Montana instead. Or wherever it’s sunny these days. Same thing happened on Saturday. The professor had asked the night before ‘what do you want to do tomorrow’ and I’d told him we needed to go somewhere if the weather was at all decent.

So when I peeked outside around 9.30, there was blue sky. ‘Who wants to go on an adventure?’

Nobody did. And also, the sun vanished right before my eyes.

Which means we Johnsons spent a solid three days holed up in our home with nobody else for company or entertainment. (Except for the couple of hours we went to church today. Funnily enough, we actually lingered after the service and chatted with other people which is vastly different from our usual ‘cut and run’ approach to socializing.)

What happens when the same five people are forced to keep company with each other for seventy two hours straight?

1. You have a kicking tournament in the kitchen. Yes, the professor and I literally stood in the kitchen, facing each other, while seeing who could kick the other person for the longest time. Really, it was more like a leg-to-opponent’s-hip-lift contest but it sounds better if I just call it a kicking tournament. The professor won, of course. I couldn’t do more than 22 hip-taps-thingies. If he weren’t as stubborn as an ox he would have quit by 10. I’m sure of it. But I could see ‘I will not let my wife beat me at this’ written all over his face and that he was just doing his best to hold on a nanosecond longer than I.

2. You spend an entire day wearing your pajamas. Or, at least I did. Nothing makes you feel quite so slovenly as (1) sitting in front of a computer for an entire day (ostensibly for the purpose of organizing digital pictures) and (2) wearing the clothes you slept in for the duration of said day. And when your oldest child makes remarks about how you’re still wearing your pajamas, that only makes you feel worse.

3. We were talking about our family and how we only had boy children. I may have said something like ‘maybe someone will just drop a girl off at our house,’ and the Gort replied ‘I don’t know what’s wrong with you, you only have boys in your belly.’

4. It was Sunday, approaching 4pm. We had not left the house for even a semblance of a walk since Friday. I dragged my boy-children and their ‘enthusiastic’ father out-of-doors for a walk. ‘How the Johnsons got pneumonia’ the professor muttered under his breath. It was cold. And it was raining. But I didn’t care, I was tired of being in the house. We’d scarcely walked a block when I heard the professor snap at the Hen to stop jabbering. ‘Why are you so crabby,’ I asked him. Even though I totally knew the answer. ‘Because we’re going for a walk….in the rain….I don’t find any component of this experience enjoyable,’ he replied. ‘You can turn around if you want,’ I suggested. Seeing as my oldest two were semi-on board with a bit of exercise at that point. The professor was torn. He felt like he should continue walking with his family. And yet, he had no desire to do so. ‘Go ahead,’ I insisted. So he turned around, ‘it’s always better when the professor abandons you,’ he called over his shoulder. And went home.

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