Apparently Jerry Seinfeld is the ‘brains’ behind a new show called Marriage Ref. I haven’t seen it due to our television-less status, but I gather the premise has something to do with a couple presenting their respective sides of a marital disagreement, and the marriage ref gets to decide who’s right.
Consider this ‘hypothetical’ situation.
It was Friday afternoon. Around 1pm. I’d made some guacamole for my lunch, which I’d plopped onto a small plate along with a dollop of salsa. And I was standing at the kitchen counter with my little plate in front of me; dipping tortilla chips in the guac or the salsa and sliding them into my mouth.
Dip. Chew. Swallow. Repeat.
Jason decided that he was hungry for guacamole too. But the dollop on my plate was on the paltry side of the portion spectrum. So he decided to make himself some guacamole.
He grabbed the avocado. Peeled it. And placed it on….my plate. Where he began to crush the green-ish flesh with a fork. Right in the middle of the guacamole that I was in the middle of eating.
I was, simply put, stunned. It felt like we were newlyweds all over again – each party completely shocked by the other’s behavior in a particular situation; lamenting silently: ‘how could I have missed this in the two and a half years of dating and engagement?’
I couldn’t believe that he’d usurped my plate while I was still eating. And he couldn’t believe how irritated I was about it.
‘If we had people over to dinner, would you go and stand beside them and start making food on the plate that they were using?’ I asked, hoping the example would help him ‘get it’.
‘No, because I’m not married to them.’ He replied. And muttered something about trying to ‘save’ dishes. So the dishwasher wouldn’t have to wash quite so many plates.
An about-to-be-wed couple stopped by later in the day, and I re-enacted the scenario. To see if they were as outraged as I.
The husband-to-be’s first reaction was ‘he was probably doing it so he wouldn’t have to dirty another plate.’
And there you have it. Outrage? Practical? Or practically rude?
(You can only answer once, professor!)