The professor happened to be home on Tuesday. So, after I dropped the Gort off at Kindergarten, it dawned on me that I had no children and a brief window of time. Which meant I could go to the grocery store by myself for a change. Especially since I happened to have a $1 coin in my cupholder and could actually get a cart.
I steered the cart to the baby supplies area. In a rare flash of lucidity I’d recalled that the littlest member of the house was nearly out of diapers. I tried to take a shortcut through the ‘feminine products’ aisle but a woman had parked her cart in the middle of the aisle, and showed little inclination to moving it out of the way to make room for other carts.
So I went the long way, past the baby food section. Compiling a little list in my head on the do’s and don’ts of grocery store etiquette. I abandoned my cart to compare the price of Huggies Size 2 versus Pampers size 2. All while thinking that the rules of grocery cart driving were much like the rules of highway driving. Stay in the right lane, unless you want to pass. If everyone would only follow such a basic principle, grocery store shopping would be simple. Enjoyable even.
I returned to my cart, feeling smug about the wisdom and enlightenment that had descended upon me. Only to find I’d abandoned my cart in the middle of the aisle. Worse, it was perpendicular to the aisle, which meant absolutely no carts could get by on either side. It’s as if I’d blocked off the aisle to protect others from a toxic spill.
I mentally erased my treatise on store etiquette and kept going.