Would you rather…Saskatchewan

I don’t know precisely how it started, but for some reason the professor and I take great delight in playing a little game called ‘would you rather’. The point of the game is to come up with two highly undesirable scenarios and present them as choices to the other player.

As in, ‘would you rather go to a Dolly Parton concert or a Barry Manilow concert?’

We’ve been playing this ridiculous game for at least seven years. Maybe longer. It is an extremely useful tool for staying awake when you’re driving late at night and all you want to do is sleep. And it’s slightly less contentious than my other stay-awake strategy: argue about something trivial. Strange, but it’s the only thing that keeps me awake when we’re driving at 2am.

Despite its weird nature, the game does tell you something about a person. For instance, ask someone ‘would you rather be a proctologist or a urologist’ and their answer will tell you something about them, though I’m not exactly sure what. To date, I’ve only met one proctologist wannabe.

So, as we were driving through the bleak landscapes of North Dakota and Saskatchewan, the game changed somewhat to reflect our lack of excitement about our surroundings.

‘Would you rather earn a million dollars and live here (Minot or Estevan)….or earn your current salary and live elsewhere?’

The possibility of wealth was not sufficient to convince either of us to relocate to the province next door. For starters, there’s not a single Starbucks along the 600km stretch of highway across Saskatchewan. More importantly, there is a noticeable absence of trees. And it’s so flat, if you squint you can almost see Calgary in the distance.

Which means when the wind blows and there’s snow on the ground, you might find yourself driving 5mph behind a semi that is trailing a truck containing a lighted sign that says: ‘Caution blowing snow.’ And listening to the radio issue useful bulletins like: ‘driving is not advised.’

Thanks to a fantastic three or so hours on Highway 1, aka ‘the drive that silenced my inner backseat driver,’ Saskatchewan could well be the newest four-letter word in my vocabulary. If only it wasn’t so hard to spell. And didn’t have so many syllables. If you’re lucky crazy enough to drive through it en route to the U.S. or upon your return from the land of the free and the fat-free (as my friend Anna once called it) you will understand why.

14 thoughts on “Would you rather…Saskatchewan

  1. Jeff and I had similar sentiments while driving through Sasketchewan (sp?). However, Jeff said he has a certain respect for people who are from there and have such pride about being from there. It reminded him- the landscape and the people- of Kansas, where he is from. I’m pretty sure if we played the “would you rather” game and it was “live in Kansas or Sasketchewan”, Jeff would still pick Kansas, though.

  2. Appreciate you discretion in protecting the lone responder to the proctologist/urologist scenario. Its not something I am particularly proud of but I stand by my choice. And the fact that you haven’t had any other proctologists tells me one of three things. Either you haven’t polled enough individuals, your population has been comprised of mostly females, or the respondents haven’t completely considered all of the ins and outs (wink) of the question.

    1. Anonymous – the question is actually an obscure IQ test and your response actually indicates you’re a genius. My sister-in-law did one better though, ‘I don’t want to be either!’ she replied. Clearly appalled by the ridiculous question.

  3. And one more thing, it wasn’t necessarily a proctologist vs. a urologist. It was a proctologist vs. one who performs vasectomies all day and thats it. Its a subtle difference but definitely changes the dynamics of the question.

  4. mhm… on our way back from Iowa this summer we met some interesting folks in the Weyburn Timmys at 3 am…. The first couple were drunk as skunks and trying to befriend my (understandably) sleepy 2 year old with a stale timbit. There was also the brilliant man who observed “isn’t it past their bedtime?”. Last but not least the storming off hissy fit thrown by one of the two employees working which resulted in it taking a full 1/2 an hour for the sole remaining employee to fill the orders of the drunks and parenting expert ahead of us in line. Good times!

    oh and Estevan isn’t a total lost cause… in the sumer they have a free sprinkler park which makes a great pit stop when travelling with small children (and a plastic bag placed strategically over the drain creates a fine wading pool to boot!)

  5. It is pronounced ‘Sa- scratch your ass again’ (Sorry to all Saskatchenwaners but driving through there 3 times a year (including Christmas) to get to and from Winnipeg was not what I wanted my childhood memories to be filled with.)

  6. Perhaps it is better off the #1 highway but after the #1 and that weird jog in Regina who wants to drive anywhere else?

  7. I just realized I was there when said conversation occurred regarding the urologist vs. proctologist. I know who you are, anonymous.

  8. I think its useful when making the choice to think about what the worst case scenario would be in either situation….. of course the real would you rather question is now … Would you rather be a proctologist in SK or an urologist in Kansas…… I suspect not even Bill Gates money could convince me of either…


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