Deep Thoughts and Realizations

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true loves gave to me…..twelve minutes frostbite, eleven all sorts licorice, ten handmade cards, nine yummy cookies, eight hours’ cleaning, seven minutes’ crying, six undone advents, a five seater Volvo SUV…….four Diego drawings, three tasty treats, two U.S. passports and a mushy brain with no memory

Minus 18 degrees Fahrenheit is cold. It is, in fact, so cold that if you put gas in your car, even while wearing gloves, your fingers will sting for many minutes afterward. Also, your car may develop frost on the windows…from the inside. And your husband might even wear dress pants. On a Saturday. Because they’re made with flannel and slightly warmer than his other pants.

The people driving really nice cars with heat that works immediately and effectively don’t look markedly ‘happier’ when you pass them on the road. Except for the guy who drives a custom orange-rust colored Escalade, while wearing a fur coat and sunglasses with diamonds on the side. He looks happier – in a Liberace/Outkast sort of way.

When I check on my sleeping boys at night, I always think ‘man, I wish I could have ten of them.’ But since a room full of perpetually sleeping boys is an unfathomable impossibility, I’ll stick with the three I have.

Things like ‘sledding’ sound like a lot of fun on paper. Except when it’s colder than snot outside. And your two year old hates his snowsuit and screams for twenty minutes while you try to force it upon his rigid limbs. And continues to scream while you place him in the sled and pull him around the yard for exactly two minutes, before sending him back inside.

Kids will play with anything….even a mini food processor. Conversely, a mini food processor can serve as a sort of poor-man’s/ in-a-pinch pull toy. Much like those fancy Melissa and Doug toys, but without the hefty price tag or annoying bright colors and cute designs. Did I mention we own two of said toys, and no one ever plays with them.

A baby tends to look grumpy when you put a too-tight hat on his head. For the sole purpose of taking a picture of him in said hat. Either that or the sound of a two year old crying makes him grumpy.

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