As of 3pm or so on Monday August 3rd, we ceased being home owners. International home owners, at that.
If you’d like some helpful hints on how to sell a home in just 450 days or less, feel free to send me an email. Or call 1-800-slowhomes. And for only 3 easy installments of $19.99 (payable by credit card) I will share my secrets with you.
The first time we sold a house, it sold in exactly one day. The first people who looked at it bought it at the listed price. In the dead of winter. The second time we sold a house, it sold in about 450 days. For 22% below asking price.
The first time we made a nice profit. The second time, we went in the hole. Maybe ‘buried ourselves in the hole, 3 feet under’ would be a better description.
Well-intentioned people have said: ‘at least it’s off your hands’ but of course they’re not the ones sitting 3 feet deep in a hole.
But, ’tis true. It is off our hands. When I went upstairs to brush my teeth in our Calgary home a few weeks ago, there was water dripping from the ceiling. My first thought was, ‘why did this have to happen when Jason’s out of town’. My second thought was ‘thank goodness no one will be calling me from Muncie, Indiana at midnight to inform me there’s water dripping from the ceiling.’
Which, they wouldn’t have anyway since the roof is brand-freaking-new. But it could have been a leaky toilet or a flooded basement. Or a rat infestation.
It was a nearly two-month journey, the selling of Alden Road. Beginning with an out of the blue call from our realtor – after the house had been taken off the market. Someone who’d looked at it previously had tried to buy another house and it had fallen through. Would we be interested in letting him look at our house again?
He did, and made an offer that day, which we chose to accept. After some minimal countering on our part. An appraisal followed, and a home inspection. Some minor repairs were made. Closing was scheduled for late July.
And then, in what can only be described as: ‘the worst week we’ve ever had’. When bad news came at us from all angles, the house closing was also canceled. Because, as it turned out the buyer had never actually filled out the paperwork for the loan.
How appraisals and inspections and closings got scheduled without anyone bothering to figure out that the buyer hadn’t actually completed the necessary paperwork……I shall never know.
Strongly worded emails and terse phone calls followed. And then, following a trip to yet another notary to re-assign power of attorney for the closing, we got a phone call saying they’d misunderestimated the taxes on the property and closing costs would be about $700 more than the previously quoted amount. Which was already about $3000 higher than we’d anticipated.
And to think we had – at one point – expected to make a modest profit on the house.
Jason ended up flying to Indiana over the weekend and so the (second) closing of Alden road was scheduled to coincide with his presence, for 2pm on Monday. He called me when all was said and done.
When he got to closing, he found out the amount was still $10 higher than the last amount he’d been told. Being as we were 3 feet under at this point, he didn’t even have $10 on him. So the realtor had to write a personal check for the $10.01 we still owed.
It was the lone funny moment in an un-funny process. We may buy a house again.
When Brett Favre returns to the Packers.