Snowy tedium

dec9 On the ninth day of Christmas, my true loves gave to me….nine minutes’ sledding, eight pieces pizza, seven inches’ snow, six chocolatechip cookies, five hours alone, four people dressed, three frozen fruit treats, two burning snowmen and a queasy feeling in my tummy.

As we were preparing for our sledding (or toboganning as the Canadians say) excursion this morning, I turned to Jason. ‘You know what’s the worst about winter?’ ‘This?’ he replied, motioning to the kid he was trying to bundle up.

Yes! I’m sure I’m not the first person to think this, but the mere thought of having to put puffy jackets, snow boots, hats and mittens on the kids keeps me indoors. Only a serious case of cabin fever or an appointment can compel me to go through the dreaded routine.

It seems so straightforward, like it should only take about 5 minutes. So how could this simple chore actually drain me of any desire to go outside? Because it’s not straightforward or simple.

I timed the process yesterday. It took nearly twenty minutes to put myself and two kids in full winter regalia. Because neither child stands still long enough to get more than one mitten on a hand. Then they run away from the attempted confinement. Usually with a critical piece of clothing. And I have to summon them, again, hoping the runaway items return too.

Jason asked the Hen to get his snowboots today. He proceeded to pelt me with four different pairs of shoes, before picking up his own boots. And G, apparently, has lost the ability to do anything quickly. By the time he arrives at the front door to be ‘coated’ and ‘hatted’ his feet are still bare – because his socks are upstairs. At which point I try hard not to put my fist in my mouth and yell AAAAARGH. And don’t even get me started on the perils of squeezing puffy-girthed children into car seats, and trying to make sure inevitably discarded mittens and hats are not lost forever.

When we finally got outside today, we realized it was pretty cold. Possibly too cold for two disinterested children to be on a sled for more than a few minutes. We went down the hill a whopping three times, checked out the ice rink, and headed home.

We’ll need to start drinking sugar free hot chocolate if this keeps up. We’re certainly not burning enough calories to justify anything else.

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